40 of 40

This site is mostly advice: Here is a way I think you could and should act in X situation, because I’ve seen it work well. Do I take my own advice? Sure. Sometimes, mostly. When it’s easy advice. When I feel like it. When I’m not doubting myself.

That’s the secret, isn’t it? If I consider only my posts, it looks like I’ve got stuff sorted out, doesn’t it? Like I’m confident and wise and bold enough to put it out there?

I’m just good at faking it until I make it, I said to myself, to my wife, my closest friends. And at the same time, I don’t believe I am faking it, even though I sometimes feel that way. I’m learning to ignore that inner voice when external voices are telling me that I’m doing a hell of a job.

I went to career counseling. “I want to take the next step,” I said, “but I’m scared I won’t be capable of it.” She said, “Often people who doubt themselves are the highest achievers, because they are spurred on by that feeling, and won’t stop until it’s good enough. And it’s never good enough.”

It’s a balancing act. It’s learning to hold multiple feelings at once. It’s taking a deep breath and taking the next step even though it’s scary.

And it’s exhilarating.

Project 40 has reached 40 posts. The first phase is complete, and the next phase is undetermined. For now, I’ll enjoy a vacation, then work on translating the existing posts into German. Thank you for reading!

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