This site is mostly advice: Here is a way I think you could and should act in X situation, because I’ve seen it work well. Do I take my own advice? Sure. Sometimes, mostly. When it’s easy advice. When I feel like it. When I’m not doubting myself. That’s the secret, isn’t it? If I …
I was on a call getting advice; I had paid someone for this service. “Don’t buy a house in Duisburg,” she said. I made a noise of agreement, thinking: industrial, gray, boring to drive through. “There are Romanian men sitting in front of cafés drinking coffee,” she said, “and their women are pushing fat strollers …
If English is not your native language, you might not be super sure how to use gender-inclusive language when speaking or writing it. Why is this important? When at work, I want (and need) to be seen first for my skills, not for my gender. Here are three specific scenarios I’ve been asked about or …
Believing that life is fair is, to some, a sign of immaturity. By the time we’re 25, that line of thinking goes, we should expect the worst from life and not believe in fairy tales or stories with morals any more. Sure, it’s an important lesson to learn; someone will always get more candy than …
Talking about what intrinsically motivates us is sometimes difficult; hell, sometimes even understanding what motivates us is difficult. The Moving Motivators exercise (available for sale or as a free download there, as an online tool here, or as a Miro template) provides a framework to think about and talk through ten motivators that most people …
This year I volunteered to be a mentor for FEMSTORY, which offers young professional women a chance to match with an older professional for three months of mentoring. Why mentoring? There have been plenty of times in my career where I wished I had a mentor to bounce stuff off of. When I found out …
Sometimes it’s how and when you say it. Sometimes it’s something that shouldn’t be said. But you’ve said it, and later you regret it. “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” How do we learn to stop and ask these questions while spoiling for a fight, in a bad mood, out of hormonal …
Do you have to be serious to be professional? I sure hope not. Life is too short to keep a straight face for eight plus hours every workday. But there are ground rules: Keep it short, keep it consensual, don’t bother others, and know your environment. I brought in pool noodles at a previous job, …
Have you ever known someone who’s irritable or even downright nasty, but suddenly able to rein themselves in when someone who has power over them, or whom they want to impress, is around? Kissing up and kicking down is common, but also human nature. You hear the same story often enough – someone on their …
Today I slept an extra hour. I’m still groggy and not feeling top of my game, and I’m not feeling like writing. I committed myself to writing every morning for at least fifteen minutes, and I want to prove to myself that I can carry through on that. I’m not one to stick relentlessly to …