If English is not your native language, you might not be super sure how to use gender-inclusive language when speaking or writing it. Why is this important? When at work, I want (and need) to be seen first for my skills, not for my gender. Here are three specific scenarios I’ve been asked about or …
Believing that life is fair is, to some, a sign of immaturity. By the time we’re 25, that line of thinking goes, we should expect the worst from life and not believe in fairy tales or stories with morals any more. Sure, it’s an important lesson to learn; someone will always get more candy than …
Sometimes it’s how and when you say it. Sometimes it’s something that shouldn’t be said. But you’ve said it, and later you regret it. “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” How do we learn to stop and ask these questions while spoiling for a fight, in a bad mood, out of hormonal …
I overheard a conversation yesterday that set my teeth on edge. A couple guys were jump-starting a woman’s car, and bitching at her for standing around. “What are you doing? You have to get in the car and turn it on!” With an obvious message of “you stupid person, why are you wasting our time?” …
Growing up, my dad used “you people” to refer to the rest of the inhabitants of the house when we’d done something he didn’t like. It was inevitably combined with “always”. “You people always leave the lights on when you leave the room!” This phrase is custom-tailored to hit just exactly wrong: “You people” excluded …
Shutting up is a power move. Better: an empowering move. If you can get out of your own head for long enough to shut up and listen to the other person, amazing things happen. Version 1: The ramble. Agree to listen for ten minutes with a neutral expression and without responding or giving feedback, even …